‘He Looked Like A Spider Monkey Jacked Up On Mountain Dew!’ – The Best Moments Ever From Action Sports Commentary

Ed Leigh, swearing and giant balls... The men on the mic say the craziest things

The eyes of the world may be strictly on the athletes when competition kicks in, but the ears are on the commentary – and sometimes that gives the extra edge.

From Jenny Jones’ slopestyle bronze to Danny Hart owning the mountain bike World Champs, there has been some cracking quotes caught on film in the memorable past.

Here are just ten of our favourite occasions when the men with the mics have immortalised a massive sporting moment…

1) Danny Hart Wins Big – “How Can Danny Hart Sit Down With Balls That Big?”

Three years ago, British downhill mountain biker Danny Hart took the World Champs in Champery by 11 seconds. It was absolutely insane.

What turned his wet and wild win into a world famous landmark though was the mental commentary that accompanied it from Rob Warner and Nigel Page. Surely still the greatest piece of mountain biking commentary in the history of the sport?

2) Jenny Jones Takes Bronze – “Both Ed And Amy Are Crying… And Now I’m Going!”

This one should be familiar. Aimee Fuller joined Ed Leigh and Tim Warwood in the commentary box for the women’s slopestyle final at Sochi 2014, and the team proved quite controversial in their support for Jenny Jones.

After some shrill screaming and the occasionally cheer when another rider took a fall, the group ended up going absolutely ballistic when Jenny became the first Briton to medal on snow. And rightly so.

Over 300 people complained to the BBC about their over-zealous commentary. Over 300 people were wrong.

3) Bob Burnquist Kills It – “How Many Tricks Just Went Down That You’ve Never Seen Before?!”

Up against his mate Tony Hawk, Bob Burnquist unleashed a whole host of new tricks in the 2001 X-Games vert contest and scored a 98.0 for his efforts.

The American commentators are normally pretty mundane at the X-Games, but this made them scream for a sizeable period of time.

4) Natalie Segal Shreds – “Natalie From Australia! Is That Correct? She Fucking Came All The Way From Australia?”

This is one of those ‘watch first, ask questions later’ type of clips. Seriously, give it a watch.

Natalie Segal – “no relation to Steven” – was competing in the Roldal Freeride Challenge in Norway earlier this year, and the native commentator was surprisingly lax in his role.

“Is she going to do some nice shit in Norway?!” he asks. “Don’t fuck it up on the bottom!” Hmmm.

It’s hard not to wonder how many complaints this guy would’ve got if it had been him in the BBC commentary box in Sochi instead.

5) Paul Sherwen Loses It – “Whatever The F*ck The Structure Of The Team Was…”

Everyone loves a slip of the tongue on the television. It’s why we all watch the thing to start with. Well, those of you that tuned into the Tour de France two years ago will remember this classic from Paul Sherwen.

As Paul discusses the “great” HTC squad of the past, he gets a bit pumped up by the whole situation and proclaims: “whatever the fuck the structure of the team was, for many years, it was the biggest!”

Calm yourself down Paul. There are children watching.

6) Ed Leigh Excels – “Drama! Jacobellis is down!”

It was Turin, Italy, the 2006 Winter Olympics women’s boardercross final, and the moment where Ed Leigh made his name.

American rider Lindsey Jacobellis was cruising at the front, but just as it looked like she had the gold wrapped up, took a nasty tumble and let Tanja Frieden take the reigns.

Ed Leigh needed no second invitation to lose his mind. “FRIEDEEEEN, FRIEEEDEN,” he shouted, in a style suspiciously similar to the call in Mel Gibson’s Braveheart.

You can always count on Ed to add to the extra drama.

7) Dave Wassel Talks Magic – “He Looked Like A Spider Monkey Jacked Up On Mountain Dew!”

There’s no year or specifics here – this is just a wonderful, wonderful highlights reel from surfing’s Dave Wassel.

Listen to a minute or so of this and we’re pretty sure you’ll be in stitches. Dynamite one liner after dynamite one liner…

8) Kevin Robinson Doubles Up – “That’s The First Time He’s Ever Made That!”

Kevin Robinson nails a double flair at the X-Games in 2006. The commentators squeal.

The rider had vowed not to leave the building until he nailed the trick, and he did just that at the BMX Vert Best Trick contest.

9) Hoffman Hits New Ground – “I Don’t Believe It! I Do Not Believe That Just Happened!”

Mat Hoffman left the commentary team in a fit of wonder after he pulled the first ever 900 No Hander in 2002.

The rider nailed the trick without warning, and the men on the mic spent the rest of his run getting more awe-struck and higher pitched with every word. Wonderful stuff.

10) The Tour de France’s Screaming Norwegian…

We’ve already established that Norwegian commentators are insane – see point four for more detail – and here’s another video which shows exactly that.

This guy is the Ed Leigh of Norway. It’s stage six of the Tour de France in 2011, and Edvald Boasson Hagen has taken the win. We don’t know exactly what this chap’s chat is, but to say that he’s stoked seems like a bit of an understatement.

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