Sweden’s Second-Largest City Gothenburg Is Being Tormented By A Giant Ice Penis On A Frozen Lake

Definitely the most ri-dick-ulous story you'll read all day.

Despite the fact that 50% of the world’s population has one, penises continue to make the human race laugh on a fairly frequent basis. Look. We all pretend to be proper adults but really, deep down, we’re all still idiots laughing at knob-sketches. Everyone knows that possessing the ability to quickly doodle a cartoon dick, is one of the essential tools in any person’s basic skillset (that’s just the world we’re living in).

Now, of course, most simplistic penis drawings tend to appear in the margins of school textbooks and on toilet cubicle doors. They’re usually no bigger than a thumbnail. With that in mind then, we think it’s fair to say that this massive one on a frozen lake in Gothenberg, Sweden, is pretty next-level when it comes to the world of phalic illustrations.

The “art”, if that’s what you want to call it, appeared at the weekend on the King’s Park Lake. As you’d expect, it’s caused quite a stir amongst the local community. Several city residents have actually taken it upon theselves to visit Gothenburg City Council to demand the offensive image be removed from the frozen surface.

There’s a problem though. The ice doesn’t appear thick enough to support an adult’s weight, and this means the parks staff can’t actually get themselves to the erotic artwork and remove it without running the risk of falling in. Of course, why nobody has considered sellotapping a load of chopsticks together is beyond us.

79-year-old Gothenburg resident Åke Lindgren, who lives just across the road from the lake, has been documenting park official’s struggles with the big ice penis by taking photographs that have since been picked up by the Swedish media. As his comments have shown, Åke is definitely seeing the funny side to it all: “I have explained the story many, many times now. But it’s funny! The penis is still there, I can still see it!”

With winter temperatures in Gothenburg often averaging down in the sub-zeroes, anyone hoping for the ice to melt and the penis to disappear along with it might be in for a long wait. At the time of writing, the city’s temperature was a bone-chilling -14°C.

If the thermometer is hitting those kind of lowpoints, it would probably be sensible for the Swedes to leave the penis exactly where it is. Laughing at the site of it might actually help people to stay warm.

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