Anyone who has seen any of the Spiderman films will know that the eponymous character is a bit of a cheeky chap. He’s flies about on his spider webs impressing girls, taking on bad guys and hanging off skyscrapers like there’s nothing to it.

But then again, he’s also a superhero. He was lucky enough to get a crazy range of talents after being bitten by a radioactive house spider – spidey senses, the ability to shoot webs, to climb walls, hang from ceilings; the whole shebang.

We tried something similar the other day. There was a house spider in the toilet that refused to go down the drain. We assumed it must have been radioactive as a consequence, made it bite our hand and leapt out the window assuming we could shoot webs. We couldn’t, because life is cruel, and not only are we now writing this from hospital, we owe Mrs. Watson downstairs a new plant pot.