Road Cycling

23 Wheelie-Terrible Bike Puns That Are So Bad, They’re Brilliant

My mate is a bit of a cycle-path...

Bike puns so terrible they will make you smile

We’ve all come across times when we hear puns that are so heart-wrenching terrible you can’t help but silently giggle inside. It’s a great moment for all concerned.

So we’ve put together a list of wheelie bad bike puns you can tell your mates and pretend are yours. Then, just sit back and stare at each other awkwardly while you both digest what just happened.

If you’re interested in skiing or snowboarding, then you’ll also love these terrible snow puns. If you’re here for road cycling puns, mountain biking puns and BMX puns, you’ve never been more in the right place.

1) My mate punched a driver for pulling into the bike lane. He’s a bit of a cycle-path.


2) There was a massive tropical storm while I was out riding my bike. I decide to cyclone.


3) My bike-mad cousin dropped out of university after one lecture. He was disappointed when he realised it wasn’t pronounced cycle-ology.


4) I run a surgery practice for cyclists who want to remove one of their eyes. It’s called ‘Cycle-ops’.


5) The dude who makes my wheels suffers from narcolepsy. He just gets wheelie, wheelie tyred.


6) Apparently there was a type of dinosaur which used to ride a bike. The velo-ciraptor.


7) A female boxer let the air out of both my wheels recently. I had two puncture.


8) Everytime my bike hurts me, I punch it right back. It’s a vicious cycle.


9) I bought a new wheel from the local bike shop, but it was missing something in the middle. When I complained, they sent me straight through to their spokes-person.


10) My bike always looks at me with a sense of sexual resentment. I think it wants to ride on top for a while.


11) When my bike chain rusted, the rest of my bike started falling apart too. It was a chain reaction.


12) A man woke up one morning with no hair and two flat tyres. It was case of ‘air today, gone tomorrow’.


13) I cycled through a meadow the other day and my bike looks much prettier now. I’ve got a daisy chain.


14) A maniac cut someone in half while I was on my bike today. I missed it, but my chainsaw.


15) My cousin loves E-Bikes because she’s really indecisive. She likes that it takes charge.


16) Did you know Alfred Hitchcock used to be into downhill mountain biking? He was the master of suspens-ion.


17) My mate is really good on a unicycle but very socially awkward. She can’t handle-bars.


18) A nostalgic mate’s bike broke the same day he f*cked up a mixtape he was making for his girlfriend. Now he needs a new cassette.


19) My race time today was so much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.


20) I bought some handlebars recently but they’re a little bare. I told the guy I bought them from he needs to get a grip.


21) It’s getting harder to use a bike pump with every year that passes. All that inflation.


22) I rode my bike 10 miles to safely dispose of some paper, cans and bottles earlier. I was tired on the way back. I had to recycle.


23) My bike is absolutely disgusting these days. You should see the skidmarks.


Got anymore terrible bike puns you would like to add to this list? Share it with us!

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