There are two types of cyclist you’ll see on your way to work; the cycling enthusiast, geared out in colour co-ordinated lycra, and the rider of convenience, wearing near enough anything else.

The enthusiast rides for pleasure, while his counterpart rides to get from A to B. Predictably, the former is normally faster than the latter, but on every morning ride you’re bound to encounter the ‘road racing wannabe’, who sits somewhere in between. He’s the guy wearing a tank top and a bandana that seems strangely determined to race everyone he meets.

Not only do the people he’s racing have no interest in battling him, they don’t even know they’re in a race.

The wannabe creates a cycling civil war within his own head – a war that starts when he gets on his bike and doesn’t end until he’s overtaken everyone on the planet.

This is despite the fact that not only do the people he’s racing have no interest in battling him. In fact they don’t even know they’re in a race at all.

The end result is that this guy rides past you, falls behind again because he’s not fit enough to keep up, then comes huffing and puffing back a few minutes later to try and reclaim his honour.

We just hope there’s a shower at his work.