‘Tis the season for giving presents and all that, and in our most recent search for cycling-themed gifts, we stumbled across this: The Swiss Cycling Calendar 2015.
“Great,” we thought, “Swiss Cycling’s 2015 calendar, no doubt packed with pictures of legends like Fabian Cancellara. Maybe they’ll even be a couple pages dedicated to their awesome downhill tracks – Champery perhaps, or even Lenzerheide.”
“That’ll be an appropriate present for any cyclist.”
Except when we started looking closer, it quickly became apparent that the Swiss Cycling Calendar was about as far from “appropriate” as you could hope to get.
For starters, there doesn’t appear to be any actual cycling in it.
It’s more about girls standing around with their bras out.
Occasionally bikes do appear…
But no-one’s actually riding them.
Even if they were to try, we can’t help feeling that the clothes they’re wearing would be horribly impractical…
I mean can you imagine spending hours in the saddle in these shorts?
Or these lederhosen? And how would she pedal in these boots! Is this really what the Swiss team wears?
Also we can’t help thinking that even with a helmet, in these chilly-looking Swiss mountains such attire is bordering on dangerous.
Specially if you insist on taking it all off when you stop…
At least they’re advertising the importance of staying hydrated.
But after a little while we couldn’t help wondering – are these women really cyclists at all?
Are they even Swiss?
Had we been LIED to?
It was only when we looked more closely at the cover that we realised – this is in fact the “Sexy” Swiss Cycling Calendar, apparently produced by a brand called Atzeni Race.
Of course. Because every nation needs one of those…