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What A Cock-Up! ‘Aroused’ Cyclist Removed From Naked Bike Ride For Getting Too Excited

'It was horrible' - Police forced to intervene after Canterbury protest ride gets a little bit heated

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There’s a reason we all love cycling so much. The sport opens up limitless routes, brings you closer to the countryside and away from the rules, regulations and general madness of the modern world.

There’s nothing quite like the freedom of getting out on two-wheels, getting your feet on those pedals, and then riding into the unknown, with no one to tell you what to do or where to go, and with your genitals hanging out for the world to see, rising high like the flag of liberation being brought to attention – wait… what?

Yeah, sorry about that. We got a little bit carried away there. See, sometimes we get so excited about having a good ride – on the saddle on the bicycle of course – that it slightly turns us on. And we’re not the only ones, either.

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The British police were forced to intervene at a naked cycling event in Canterbury, England last Saturday, after onlookers complained that one of the riders had got himself more than a little ‘aroused’. Bit of a cock-up if you ask us.

The event was the World Naked Bike Ride, which takes place in cities across the world to raise awareness of the dangers faced by cyclists on the roads, but one competitor raised something else entirely – his penis, just to be clear – and it caused a bit of a stir.

One eye-witness, who made direct eye-contact with the dude’s genitilia, said: “Everyone was taking their clothes off to get ready for the ride. I heard gasps and I turned around. It was a horrible sight.”

Now, apart from the fact that the aforementioned quote could easily be the opening to a D-movie horror script or the climax – stay focused people – to a classic gothic novel, it’s hard not to find this entire situation just a little bit hilarious.

After all, the comedy is only heightened by the fact that the race was taking place through Canterbury – the World Heritage Site renowned for homing the Archbishop of Canterbury, head of the Church of England and the dude responsible for crowning the British monarchy.

Safe to say if he was on the streets of the city last weekend, he would’ve bore witness to a rather different set of crown jewels.

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Anyway, the eye-witness continued, stating with an entirely straight face: “It’s fair to say he was overexcited and got aroused. It looked like he was enjoying the event a bit too much.

“One of the organisers went over to him and told him to put his trousers on while speaking on a walkie-talkie to police. The man looked sheepish when he was spoken to by the police.”

Another story from the world of cycling which leaves us laughing and just keeps on growing. Much like the ‘horrible’ penis in question.

Our bet is that the as-of-yet-unnamed dude wasn’t sheepish about what was going on downstairs – after all, he did whip off his trousers in the knowledge that he had a raging boner.

Our guess is that the ‘sheepish’ look was more brought on by the fact that his private parts had just been described as ‘horrible’, and drawn gasps of outrage from the onlooking crowd. It’s going to take him a while to get his confidence back after that.

Of course, plenty of people complained about the occurrence on Facebook, leading to the ride organiser Barry Freeman having to issue a statement on behalf of the event (God, we do love the internet sometimes) about a guy getting an erection.

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“We do not accept this behaviour and he was dealt with and removed before the ride started,” the statement read. “The police have confirmed they WILL act on ANY inappropriate behaviour, and we, the organisers will support that.”

The statement also reminded participants that they had to adhere to a strict set of rules in order to compete in the three-mile cycle – one of which apparently, is to not get an erection – and told anyone planning to be a pain in the neck – or apparently, get an erection – not to turn up at all.

Another story from the world of cycling which leaves us laughing and just keeps on growing. Much like the penis in question.

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