Running is arguably the most fun, effective and addictive way to get fit that there is.
But as any runner will tell you, run for long enough and you will eventually come a cropper in some way. From the moment you first lace up your box-fresh trainers and head out the door, it’s your unavoidable destiny.
Embrace it. It’s a rite of passage, like the first time you loudly crack off a fart in a public place while running, or the first time you get overtaken by someone 20 years your senior.
For many of us, it’s a treadmill that gives us our first bittersweet taste of #RunningFail.
Treadmills can be tricky to get on…
…and they can be tricky to stay on.
(Admittedly, some people only have themselves to blame.)
But once you’ve truly mastered the treadmill, you’ll feel like a total disco-ninja on it.
Outside of the safe confines of the gym, however, a whole panoply of dangers awaits the unsuspecting runner.
There’s ice (particularly treacherous when combined with smugness)…
There are out-of-nowhere street signs…
There are out-of-nowhere prime ministers…
And there are jealousy-enraged ‘civilians’…
But don’t feel disheartened: it’s not just us amateurs who cock up. The pros cock up all the time.
Sometimes they cock up through over-confidence.
Sometimes they cock up by not looking where they’re going.
Sometimes they cock up by momentarily zoning out.
Occasionally they’ll just straight-up stack it – two at a time, even.
Either that, or something unexpected – such as a row of pesky hurdles – will get in their way.
Even Usain Bolt cocks up sometimes, albeit in a cool way that he totally styles out.
But however you choose to fail at running – whether it’s tripping knee-first into a dog egg or clothes-lining an elderly man off his feet – just remember that you’re not alone: we all arse it up sometimes. And failing is just God’s way of telling you to… erm… not fail next time.