Shortly before taking up running, you may find yourself making stridently runnerphobic statements to anyone who’ll listen: “Look at that dickhead over there, jogging around like a pound-shop Mo Farah, what does he think he looks like, honestly, wazzock” – that kind of thing.

Just go loose. Let it happen

As will be transparently clear to anyone who knows you well, all you’re doing is putting up a futile last-minute battle against the inevitable. You’re going to become one of those jogging dickheads, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Embrace your true nature. Just go loose. Let it happen.