Fear not, humanity! All is not lost. Yes, the Polar Ice Caps may be melting, the last male Northern White Rhino is about to die, and we’re quickly burning all of the precious resources the Earth has given us just so we can get that faux Incan bed frame (made in Rochdale) delivered overnight.
However, one man has finally harnessed the power of Sausage Dogs to help propel skateboards. Get the bunting, Margaret, we’re saved!
Presumably bored of the normal kick/push that has plagued skateboarding since it was invented by Isaac Hayes in 1651, Tylor Berreth and his dachshund pal Calloway have teamed up to show the world that there is an alternative: the Canine Bro Tow.
Now, you may think that a dude hitting a few manuals and flip tricks while he’s being pulled along by a tiny dog is a bit lame. And you’d largely be correct. However, what if this phenomenon wasn’t just limited to minute long skate edits?
Think how good annual inappropriate-mass-touching-of-dog-genital-contest Crufts would be if there was a skateboard round. Imagine Clare Balding getting her head around a bunch of skate tricks as they came up on the autocue. Glorious.
In fact, if this whole thing takes off, we don’t think it’ll be too long before we see this crop up at the X Games. After all, they’re supposedly introducing Mega Ramp Doubles, so why not have X Games Real Canine Street. We can already picture Bucky Lasek being towed around by his dog Jack in a street edit.
What a truly amazing world we live in.