‘Skateboarding is not a crime!’ I hear you cry. This is true… But is it possible to get nabbed by the Old Bill for skateboarding? Abso-fucking-lutely.

You’re no one until you’ve spent a night in a cell for casually grinding on a rail under a ‘No Skateboarding’ sign and hurling abuse at a police officer.

After all, real men get arrested. Real men don’t listen to their friends’ warnings when they break into an abandoned hospital.

Real men take every opportunity to display their badass-ery – spitting on the street, biting the heads off live bats, and the like. You can’t really call yourself a skateboarder until you’ve eaten a live bat.

Here are five ways you can get yourself arrested by skateboarding. Interested? Read on…