The people you skate with are your friends. You hit skate spots together, bomb hills together. You might even go on road trips to find that one epic skate spot in some other city that you saw in Sidewalk Magazine. There is no room for arseholes in the group. You’re a tight-knit crew who’ve always got room on the sofa and a warm meal for each other.

As anybody who’ve ever played the ‘beautiful game’ will confirm, this is not the case in football.  Within the 11 players (and three hungover subs) there’s usually two, maybe three people you actually like. The rest of them? The arrogant one, the boarder-line psychopath, the shifty one, the hygienically-challenged one, the rich one, the “I could have been a contender” one… they’re pricks.

And they’re pricks that you’re stuck with if you want to play 90 minutes each week. Football is a prison, and these are your inmates.