Skateboarding has one rule: don’t be a dick. That’s it. Simple.

It doesn’t change, people don’t sit and debate it, and pretty much everyone respects it. Football on the other hand… it’s a different kettle of fish.

Just take the offside rule – sports great mystery. It seems to change every week, and hours are spent in pubs discussing whether the bloke with the Side Show Bob haircut was playing the other bloke who looks like a pirate onside or not. Nobody knows, and nobody cares.

This isn’t the beautiful game, this is the game bogged down with pointless bureaucracy and rules that only serve as a way for pathetic men to talk about in pubs so they can avoid going home.