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50 Great* Ways To Pass The Time On A Long Coach Journey to The Alps

*Not all of these are actually great, and a fairly large percentage should not be attempted

Everyone loves skiing or snowboarding, but it can cost a fair bit of cash to get yourself to resort.

That’s why all too often budding shredders find themselves on preposterously long coach trips to their mountain of choice, enduring anything from a 10 hour slow-burner to a 26 hour hell.

Now, the coach journey isn’t always as much of a drag as you might expect, but once that initial buzz of the trip has worn off, you’re going to find yourself with plenty of time to kill. Here are some suggestions on how to do just that…

1. Drink Alcohol

2. Complain About The Coach Toilet

3. Try And Get The Bus Driver To Stop At Every Service Station

4. Sleep

5. Draw A Moustache Or Phallic Object On Your Mate While They’re Sleeping

6. See How Many Straws You Can Fit In Your Mates Hair While They’re Sleeping

7. Try To Make Awkward Eye Contact With Cars That Drive Past You

8. Watch Art of Flight Seven Times On Repeat

9. Watch Literally Any Other Film

10. Organize A Coach Quiz

11. Complain About How Shit The Coach Quiz Is And That All Of The Answers Are Wrong

12. Consider Why One-Handed Scissors Are A Thing

13. Drink More Alcohol

14. Listen To Other People’s – Definitely Made Up – Stories About Last Time They Were In Resort

15. Make Up Some Crazy Stories About Last Time You Were In Resort

16. Eat Colossal Amounts Of Haribo

17. Consider Whether Or Not It Was Actually Worth Ever Learning The Pythagoras Theorem

18. Get Slowly Naked And See How Long It Takes Someone To Stop You

19. Discuss How Much Awesome Shit You’re Going To Buy On The Ferry

20. See If You Can Crawl From One End Of The Bus To The Other Without Being Stopped

21. Pretend You’re Too Cool To Play Shit Drinking Games

22. Play Some Shit Drinking Games

23. Try And Learn French

24. Put In Some Groundwork With That Guy/Girl You’ve Got Your Eye On

25. Try And Escape From That Guy/Girl Who Keeps Creepily Staring At You

26. Consider What Would Happen If Travis Pastrana Was Elected Prime Minister/President

27. Tell Your Mates All The Tricks You Plan To Do In Resort

28. Tell Your Mate They’re Never Going To Be Able To Do Any Of The Tricks They Plan To Do In Resort

29. Buy Loads Of Shit When You Get On The Ferry

30. Convince Your Mate Who Didn’t Get Insurance That He’s Going To Get Injured

31. Convince Your Mate Who’s Never Been Skiing Before That He’s Going To Get Injured

32. Convince Your Mate Who’s Alright At Boarding That They Should Try A Triple Cork

33. Convince Your Mate Who’s Hammered That He Should Get A Tattoo

34. Consider Whether Your Favourite Childhood TV Show Was Actually Good

35. Name As Many Ski or Snowboard Tricks As You Can

36. Convince Your Mate That A ‘Connard’ Is A Ski Trick

37. Drink Even More Alcohol

38. Yawn During An Arm Wrestle

39. Start Singing ‘The Circle Of Life’ And See Who Joins In

40. Play The Trombone

41. Consider Whether Coldplay Have Ever Actually Had A Good Song

42. Discuss How Many Bottles Of 80 Cent Wine To Buy At The Resort Supermarket Upon Arrival

43. Talk About The Rad Footage You’re Going To Get on Your GoPro

44. Play Mildly Boring Card Games For Like Seven Hours In A Row

45. Plan The First Night Of Après

46. Ask The Bus Driver Deeply Personal Questions

47. Teach Everyone The Rules To G.N.A.R

48. Laugh At The People Who Thought Wearing Jeans Would Be Comfortable

49. Discuss Whether Or Not There Is Any Point In Those Shitty Curtains They Have On The Coach

50. Superglue Yourself To The Window As Soon As You See Mountains

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