Families stop you skiing. Children are messy. They leave skid marks, they throw up all the time and the parents are so desperate for a break they’ll constantly try to sub you in as an unofficial nanny.

They’ll want an early ‘kids’ dinner and then a later ‘adults’ dinner. To add insult to injury, they are generally so harassed they forget to leave a tip.

Mum and Dad will, of course, expect you to adore their revolting progeny as much as they do. This includes when they’re smearing marmalade fingerprints over the freshly cleaned windows, playing around your feet while you’re cooking with hot fat, and of course, nightly bed-wetting.

Don’t let it get you down when you’re scrubbing the wee of some over-entitled, anorexic cow’s progeny out of a mattress for the third time in one week, before you’ve had even so much as a morning coffee.

Just yell, “Look! I’m not a fucking au pair, ok? I don’t think your revolting brats are cute. I’m seconds from cutting off each of their digits with a bread knife and serving them to you as a canapé.”