OK, we admit it. If you were putting together a programme for your local art-house cinema, Avalanche Sharks is going to be pretty far from the top of your list. In fact it’s not even going to be on your list. Instead it’ll be on someone else’s list, and their list will be called something like Films With Lots of Snow, Cool Snowmobiles and Girls in Bikinis. And it’ll be at the top. So which list are you going to go for? We know which one we’d choose.
Without giving away too much of the plot, the premise of this Canadian straight to television Horror film from the producers of similarly shark-themed shocker Sharknado, is that a mythical snow-dwelling shark is reawakened when a careless snowboarder inadvertently triggers an avalanche at a prestigious ski resort.
As luck would have it, the titular avalanche coincides with a lucrative Bikini Snow Day event, which prompts the resort management team to conspire to suppress reports of missing skiers and ominous sightings of sinister creatures. Predictably chaos ensues, an awful lot of people die in various implausible ways, and you get to marvel at probably the least convincing CGI you’re likely to see all year. And bikinis, and hot tubs. Did we mention the bikinis? Plenty of those in the trailer we’re presenting to you here too.
Granted, you don’t get a lot of memorable dialogue, a convincing plot, or much in the way of compelling acting, but you do get some pretty slapstick gore, a whole load of stunts, and did we mention the… Yes, we did? OK. So what’s not to like?