4) Wear scuba goggles because you don’t want your contact lenses to fall out

5) Make it a personal aim to drop in on every single local

6) Wake up and tell your mates to go back to bed because it’s flat…

10) Do this with your surfboard at every given opportunity

11) Try to communicate with locals by speaking LOUDLY…AND…SLOWLY…IN…ENGLISH

12) Shout over to your mate, “I think I just saw an aqua turd floating over there”

13) Or alternatively, “Mate, that smells like one of yours…”

14) Have sex really loudly in your van in the car park

15) Leave wax on the dashboard of your friend’s fancy new automobile

19) Say to the person next to you in the line-up in a serious tone: “I’m the best surfer out here, by the way…”

20) Call a wave… and then back out last minute

21) Say to all your mates: “I think I’d like to take up bodyboarding…”

22) Shout “FIST-BUMP, BRO!” at anybody you see, holding your fist out awaiting recognition

23) Say “I’m afraid of water, so don’t panic if you hear screaming”. Immediately start screaming…

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