3) Surfing’s rubbish

6) Which is full of filth and pollution

7) And the more-than-occasional dog turd

10) A wave that never comes

11) And when it does it’s tiny

12) Or way too big

15) Because there are no friends in surfing

16) Locals hate anybody from a different postcode

17) The women are ugly

20) The views are rubbish

21) And completely devoid of culture

22) Once you’ve seen one wave, you’ve seen them all

23)There’s only about 4 places to surf in the world

26) It’s just for lazy bums

27) There’s no adventures to be had surfing

28) No social scene

29) No parties

32) You can only surf for a few months during the summer

33) You’re virtually forced to dress like an aquatic gimp

34) If you don’t live near the ocean, don’t even bother

35) There are absolutely no tricks in surfing

38) It’s just silly, really

39) And you’ll never be accepted

40) Not that you’d want to

41) It’s dull

42) So if anybody tells you they like surfing

44) It’s just a group of people saying “dude” and “gnarly”

45) Actually, that last one’s kinda true

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