Learning To Surf? Beyonce Knows Exactly What You're Going Through - Mpora

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Learning To Surf? Beyonce Knows Exactly What You’re Going Through

We can be fairly certain that Kelly Slater isn't "Becky with the good hair'

Leaning to surf is one of the most frustrating, yet wholly rewarding things a person can ever do. The process puts you through the emotional ringer. But fear not. We’ve all been there. Even Beyonce.

1) The first time you try to pop up

2) When the instructor tells you a joke about a Chinese wax job that you don’t understand, but laugh at anyway as to not appear uncool

3) The 34th time you try to stand up, only to fall back into the sea

4) When a local (in a wig) calls you a kook

5) When somebody tells you how many people have pissed in your rental wetsuit

6) When your instructor suggests “taking it back to the beach for a bit”

7) When you’re so knackered that you can’t even swim after your board any more

8) The 134th time you try to stand up, only to fall back into the sea

9) When falling in the sea so much has washed all of your sunblock off your face and into your eyes

10) When your instructor asks if you ever do any physical activity

11) The first time you kind of almost half stand up…

12) …And your instructor quickly tells you that it doesn’t count

NB: They’re quite right. It doesn’t count.

12) When you sit, pretending to be lost in the feeling of insignificance when surrounded by the majestic vastness of the ocean, but really you’re just having a quick breather because you’re fucked

13) When you finally, finally stand up

14) When you’ve earned a high five from our instructor for finally standing up

NB: They will genuinely be as relieved as you

15) When some seven year old grom stylishly surfs past you like you ain’t shit

16) After the second time you stand up, and get kind of cocky

17) And then the instructor gives you that look for being kind of cocky

18) When you’re completely broken at the end of your first day

19) And you’re joints are so stiff you can hardly move

20) But you’ve finally cracked it, so you feel dope

21) And that first post-surf pint tastes all the better

22) And now you surf, you want to go and hang with your new surf buddies

23) When you get home and bae will tell you how proud they are of you

NB: Just check to see if Becky with the good hair is hiding under the bed

24) Now you surf, all your non-surfing friends tell you that they once bought a £17 boogie-board on a holiday to Cornwall when they were 8

25) And when friends buddies back home suddenly think you’re cool and want to look like you

26) And you finally get why a Chinese wax job is so funny

You may also like

The 10 Worst Style Crimes In Surfing

25 Sure Fire Ways To Get Punched In The Face By A Surfer

Swapping The Streets of London For Cornish Surf Is Easier Than You Think

Topics:

dad electri youth kit rich laughter list pride
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