23 Ways To Make A Road Trip Really Really Awkward - Mpora

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23 Ways To Make A Road Trip Really Really Awkward

Here's how to guarantee a crap road trip for everyone.

Everyone loves a road trip. Everyone! Show us someone who doesn’t love a road trip, and we’ll show you a liar with their pants on fire. Road trips are basically the ultimate expression of freedom. Miles upon miles of open road stretching out in front of you and your mates; memories to be made and bar tabs to be paid. There really is nothing on earth quite like putting hundreds of miles between yourself and the mundane reality of day-to-day life.

Despite how unbelievably great road trips are, they’re definitely not invincible. Things can go wrong on them, things that can shake the trip down to its foundations and leave the whole enterprise crying on the floor in a corner. These awkward scenarios, listed below, might seem like silly nonsense but they’re serious…deadly serious. The entire structure of your adventure is at stake. The awkward road is a road you don’t want to go down. Trust us.

1) Shout “ROOOOAAAAAAAD TRRRRIIIIIPPPP” too many times.

 

2) Tell your fellow passengers you know a really great shortcut and immediately get lost.

 

3) Eat food with a strong smell.

 

4) Fart quietly.

 

5) Fart loudly.

6) Run someone over.

 

7) Flip the bird at other road users (without provocation).

 

8) Pull your trousers down and do a “moonie” out of the back window.

 

 

9) Insist on taking your clothes off at every opportunity.

 

10) Make your fellow passengers listen to ‘Margaret Thatcher: The Great Speeches’…twice.

11) Run over a wild animal (accidentally or deliberately) and insist on cooking it for your fellow road trippers.

 

12) Read a broadsheet newspaper and take up the entire backseat with it.

 

 13) Quote Keroauc’s ‘On The Road’ like some literary hipster dickhead.

 

14) Constantly fiddle with the A/C.

 

15) Forget about the fundamental basics of personal hygiene.

16) Stop the car to take a photo and spend over 10 minutes choosing an appropriate Instagram filter.

 

17) Drive the car while simultaneously knocking back an entire bottle of Gordon’s Gin.

 

18) Leave your luggage somewhere and drive eight hours before realising you’ve left it behind.

 

19) Tell your fellow passengers you need to go back for your luggage (eight hours away).

 

 20) Insist on having the roof down at all times…no matter the weather.

21) Make everyone listen to your favourite jazz album.

 

22) Get annoyingly specific when calculating your share of the petrol money.

 

23) Run out of petrol.

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