Flying is great. It takes you away to those new horizons, cultural wonderlands and foreign adventures you’ve been dreaming of all your life.
But no matter how friendly a person you are, there’s a good chance that every other time you fly solo, you’re going to experience at least a little of the trademark awkwardness that comes with sitting next to a couple of complete strangers for somewhere between two and ten hours.
We like to try and combat this by saying hello and introducing ourselves, but there’s a select group of people out there who insist on leaving their human form behind when they take to the air and becoming the physical embodiment of all awkwardness in the world instead.
So, what can you do in these situations? You could sit back and stare at the seat in front of you, or you could fight fire with fire – not literally, that won’t go down well on a plane – and try and out-do your new neighbour’s lack of manners.
Here are some ideas on how to do exactly that. Needless to say, they’re all awful and you should never do any of them ever. But now that we’ve told you that, let’s get on with the list…