The airport is a strange place. It’s the gateway to the world of adventure and the life of your dreams, and yet somehow, it’s probably the singular most stress-filled place in any given city.
The airport is probably the only place in the world where elation and wanderlust clash with chaos and over-exaggerated panic on a daily basis.
On the one hand you’ve got the laidback, level-headed travellers, who turn up at the airport looking forward to their journey and capable of continuing to complete simple tasks like waiting, walking short distances and purchasing a beverage without tearing their clothes off and running into a wall.
On the other hand you’ve got those who are incapable of completing such actions, and who seem to descend into a self-centred state of hearty selfishness, irrational terror or complete lunacy whenever they’re on their way to catch a flight
The end result of course is that at the majority of airports there’s a good chance you’re going to be surrounded by an absolute downpour of bell-ends. Here are a few more specific examples of such bell-ends, in the order in which they are usually encountered.