He’s also the holder of the fastest known times for ascending the Matterhorn, Mont Blanc and Denali.

So, yeah. He’s kind of a big deal. And he says that his achievement has opened up “a new realm of possibilities in alpinism.”

Jornet says he reached the 8,848m summit of Mount Everest at 9pm local time after a 17-hour ascent. This would be just 15 minutes slower than the record set by Italian climber Hans Kammerlander, who completed the trip in 16 hours and 45 minutes in 1996, if it is confirmed.

Just five days before this, Jornet claims to have scaled Everest in 26 hours. His initial goal was a round-trip record, but stomach cramps and vomiting slowed him down, as they tend to do.

Seriously. Imagine being this guy’s cousin on Christmas Day – the whole family gathered around the dinner table while you tell everyone that you’re really stoked on getting promoted in your 9-5 office job.

Your family say congratulations then Kilian pipes in with: “yeah that’s great. I climbed Everest twice in a week without oxygen in May so I guess that’s quite cool too. And I bought presents for all the poor local children of the world because I thought that’d be quite cool too. I feel quite good about that.”

YOU’RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD KILIAN.

Sorry. Sorry. Focus.

This article isn’t about Kilian Jornet’s unfortunate cousin. This is about one hell of an achievement from the Spanish trail-running king, who also happens to write like a poet.

Jornet says that he climbs competitively to better himself, and that: “above all, I conceive sport as a way to discover landscapes both inside and outside you.

“I love silence and solitude, but communication, listening, reading, writing and travelling also appeal to me. My life is spent pursuing and fighting for my dreams.”

God. That man must be a terrific lover.

Stay crazy Kilian, and congratulations.

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