Police Called After Man Steals Mummified Human Toe From A Cocktail He Was Drinking
Canadian authorities are searching for a man with eleven toes
The vital ingredient in what must be the world’s nastiest cocktail has been stolen, and people are furious. The missing ingredient? A human toe.
People travel from around the world to the unassuming town of Dawson City in the Yukon, Canada, to visit the Downtown Hotel, which is famous for it’s horrific cocktail. For over 40 years, it’s served the Sourtoe cocktail, which consists of a shot of whisky, with a real, mummified human toe in it.
Everyday, the hotel bar has a two hour period where it serves the drink, and anybody that finishes it, letting the mummified human toe touch their lips, gets a certificate. Some sort of inoculation may be of more use.
Now, at this point, you’d be forgiven for questioning what kind of person would undergo such an genuinely vomit-inducing ordeal. Go on, have a look around you now. Is there anybody in eye-shot that looks like the kind of person that would drink whisky with an ancient, blacked toe in it? If the answer is yes, maybe back away from them slowly.
But some people have to take things a bit too far, and the toe used to make the cocktail has been stolen by a customer.
The toe-thief apparently convinced a member of staff to let him try the drink outside of the regular to hours of toe time, which is when he pounced. After downing the drink the, frankly, really fucking weird crim’ made off with the toe. Terry Lee from the Downtown Hotel told reporters “We are furious. Toes are very hard to come by." Quite.
Fret not though, boozy toe-fetishests of the world. Should you be en route to the Yukon in a bid to try the Sourtoe, Lee confirms “We fortunately have a couple of back-up toes, but we really need this one back."
Staff at the hotel confirm that police have been called and they fully intend to prosecute unless the missing mummified toe is returned unharmed. Handily, the Canadian bacon already have a strong lead, as the not-so master criminal left his certificate of completion in the bar, so they already have his name.