When I was young I wanted to be an animal expert. I wasn’t sure in what capacity – I just really, really liked lemurs, to the point of parental concern – but I thought it seemed like a pretty cool job.
Admittedly though, when I pictured myself working and living in the animal kingdom, I imagined furry animals desperate to make friends, lonely wolves howling under dramatic sunsets and rhinos and elephants just generally being really, really sound.
What I can safely say I never dreamed of was a scenario where I’d be squealing at the hands of the fourth most painful stinger in the insect kingdom in return for a shitload of YouTube views – but that seems to be the day-to-day life of adventurer and Animal Expert Coyote Peterson.
Coyote, who seems aptly named for his industry, just got stung by the Velvet Ant, aka the Dasymutilla Magnifica, aka the “cow killer”, named so for the rumour that its sting is powerful enough to kill a cow and the fact that the pain from the sting lasts a full 30 minutes afterwards.