4) It is literally always raining…

5) …and the clouds block out the sky the majority of the time

6) The scenery is awful anyway, though, so the clouds don’t even matter

9) The trails are all the same

10) They’re too… simple

11) …too short

12) …and too man-made. There’s nothing natural

13) It’s basically flat in most places in Scotland

14) …and when there is uphill, there’s no reward for it

17) …or go on any proper adventures

18) The beer is shit

19) And the whisky is even worse

20) Subsequently, they have absolutely no idea how to throw a party

21) The locals are far too tame for that kind of shenanigans

22) The wildlife is also shit

23) Like, actually painful to look at

24) It’s all just ugly mainland roads and mud

29) It’s all just a bit… dreich, all of the time

30) Grey, grey, grey, grey, grey

31) All the riding is way too far away from the city

32) It’s not as if you can just go riding in the woods by your house…

30) …or on some hills 15 minutes ride away

31) You’ve got to drive hours to hit the trails

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