The big thing that’s happened this week in two-wheeled news is ‘Mountain Bikers Ride Past Couple Having Sex on the Trail’ and as the mountain biking correspondent at Mpora it’s apparently my job to take this topic under my wing and discuss it further, theorise and evaluate the all too literal ins and outs of it, and to shed some light on what happened, ask whether you secretly wish it was you having sex at the side of the trail, and explore what you should do if you ever ride past a couple having sexual intercourse.
So what should you do? Should you film them? Should you watch them? Should you ask them to get out of the way? Should you hop over them? Should you laugh? Should you, immersed in the greenery of the wild, stop for a moment to breathe it in? Should you ask them for tips on how to find love in this barren, barren wilderness?
What would you have done in their situation?
Do you wish you were them? Do you wish you were them? Do you wish you were them? DO YOU WISH YOU WERE THEM?
Is it faked?
We’ll get to all that. There’s plenty of time. Stop shouting.
The Urban Dictionary defines a dogger both as “a person who jogs with their dog” and as “(British) people who like to have sex in public”, as well, of course, as “people [who] meet up in car parks and watch each other having sex.” Oh Britain.
Although the video in question was filmed in Ireland, and not the United Kingdom, we’re going to be working with that second definition of dogging today. Dogging is people who have sex in public. Often, in the woods.
The Urban Dictionary also includes the hashtag #lewdbehaviour in their post, which I think we can all agree is fair.