Here at Mpora, we’re not overly keen on ten-pen bowling. In fact, we’d go as far as saying that ten pin bowling is actually pretty shit. Or maybe we’re just pretty shit at it.
The shoes make you look like a clown. The general movement of throwing the ball, and the subsequent follow through, make you look like a Poundland Danny Zuko.
“Welcome to the Hydraulic Press Channel. Today we have bowling special”
And at least when we play the game – let’s not even get near calling it a sport – we stay true to the atrocity and avoid putting the bumpers up, even at the cost of watching our hopes and dreams literally fall into a gutter every time we throw the ball.
There’s nothing worse than when you’re halfway through a game of ten pin bowling and your hammered mate Steve throws the bumpers up, turns it into a game of pinball and gets a strike. Then you’re other mate Claire, who’s even more plastered, brings out the “learning ramp”, which is effectively a slide for people under the height of three foot and no more than six inches wide, and just about rolls the ball down to achieve the same feat.