If there’s one thing we all love at Mpora, almost as much we love action sports, it’s beer. Yes, beer. A friend through the good times, and the bad, it gives us so much and asks for nothing in return. Nothing, that is, except our tattered London wallets.
Anyone who’s visited the capital will know that the cost of beer here is utterly horrendous. Seriously, you’ll be lucky to get change from a fiver and that’s just for one.
“Yes, beer. A friend through the good times, and the bad…”You might be able to stretch to that if you were just going out for the one, but nobody just goes for one. You’re looking for a big night out and that means selling your organs to a back alley surgeon beforehand in order to raise the funds.
We obviously don’t want our readers auctioning off their body parts, or dressing up in hot pants and whoring themselves out, just to buy some beers. You’re better than that. I’m better than that. We’re all better than that.
So, what’s the solution? This worldwide guide to more affordable beer, of course.
There has literally never been a worse time to visit Ukraine. Don’t go, seriously, even if the beers are an extremely tempting 0.50p.
Thanks Vladimir Putin (you dickhead). Thanks for nothing.
If you thought Panama was just a big canal, think again. With 5,637 kilometers of coastline and more than 1,518 islands, Panama has more beaches than you can shake a pointy stick at.
Being a Central American country, that’s pretty much slap-bang in the middle of all the Americas, Panama has an extremely diverse wildlife. Plants, and animals, from both the north and south call this place home.
OK, enough with the outdoorsy stuff, how much is the beer? If you must know, the average price is 0.45p. Sorry. Please excuse us while we wipe tears of happiness from our eyes. Panama, we love you.
North Korea: 0.39p
The Democratic People’s Republic Of Korea, or North Korea as it’s more commonly known, has a lot of issues. Firstly, and let’s not beat around the bush here, it’s run by a cheese-eating, man-child, megalomaniac named Kim Jong-Un. A chubby dictator who, lest we forget, has probably the worst haircut of all time.
Visitors to the country are giving limited access, and only allowed to visit places that show the country in a good light. And by “good light”, we mean the bits of the country that don’t shed too much light on it’s terrible poverty and human rights issues.
“it’s run by a cheese-eating, man-child, megalomaniac…”If you’re feeling gutsy, and don’t mind being watched like a hawk by important-looking men in important-looking hats, rumour has it that the average beer price is 0.39p. Sure, you’ll end up watching a lot of military parades but, when the beers are so cheap, are you really going to complain? Top tip: Never complain in North Korea.
Travelers to North Korea are reminded not to call Kim Jong-Un “a cheese-eating, man-child, megalomaniac” directly to his face. He’ll get angry, and you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
When you think of Madagascar, you probably think of the sequel-spawning animated movies starring Ben Stiller and Chris Rock. Cheap beer, disappointingly not covered in these family friendly cash-cows, is unlikely to be the first thing that springs to mind.
More’s the pity because a pint on the island, situated just off the Southeast coast of Africa, comes in at a magnificent 0.38p. But Madagascar, as a destination, offers explorers so much more than bargain beer.
Madagascar’s isolation from mainland Africa means that 80% of it’s plant species are found nowhere else on earth. On top of that, 90% of its animal species are endemic to the island including lemurs (voiced by Sacha Baron Cohen) and the carnivorous fossa.
No wonder then that ecologists have dubbed this place the “eighth continent.”
Did we mention that the beer is only 0.38p?
If you like mountains, you’ve come to the right place. Mountains cover more than 90% of this Central Asian Republic, meaning Tajikistan is home to some of the world’s most epic views.
Not only that, but the average beer out there costs a measly 0.30p. 0.30p?! At that sort of price, you’re looking at getting properly shitfaced for less than £3.00.
The beer here is officially the cheapest on earth. See you in Dushanbe (the capital of Tajikistan).
Please drink responsibly.
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