Running Into Cringe: 23 Ways To Make Being A Runner The Most Awkward Thing In The World - Mpora

Share

Running

Running Into Cringe: 23 Ways To Make Being A Runner The Most Awkward Thing In The World

Things you can do to turn being a runner into the world's most awkward badge of honour.

1) Shout “I AM RUNNING! LOOK AT ME RUNNING!” repeatedly, for the entirety of your run

Photo: iStock.

2) Wear inappropriate footwear

Photo: iStock.

3) Push over anyone who gets in your way. Especially children

Photo: iStock.

4) Run so far from your house that you need a plane, a train, and an automobile to get back

Image: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (via Netflix Life).

5) Forget to rehydrate with water, and pass out in the middle of your run

6) Recreate THAT infamous Poo-la Radcliffe moment

7) Tell everyone you meet that you “live for running” and that running is your “life”

Photo: iStock.

8) Bust your knees up real bad, and start openly crying when your friends label you: “Frankie Flamingo-Legs”

9) Stage your own unofficial FunRun in the local park, do it naked and get arrested

Photo: BelieveInTheRun.com.

10) Slide across other people’s car bonnets in the style of Starsky and/or Hutch

11) Share seriously unimpressive running stats on social media

12) Be a living embodiment of the “all the gear, no idea” concept

Photo: iStock.

13) When people ask you which runners inspire you, look them in the eye and say “Forrest Gump”

14) Check your e-mails while running down a busy street. Crash into everybody, without looking up from the screen

Photo: iStock.

15) Say “It’s a marathon, not a sprint” all the time, and in totally inappropriate contexts

Photo: iStock.

16) Do this all the time. Like, literally all the time

Photo: iStock.

17) Take so many performance enhancing drugs, that you start believing you’re an omnipotent deity

Photo: iStock.

18) Start a religion in honour of your new-found status as an omnipotent deity

Photo: iStock.

19) Get busted for taking performance enhancing drugs, and be forced to shutdown your newly created religion

Photo: iStock.

20) Run like a sitcom character

21) Run in formal office-wear

22) Insist that people call you “Mo”/Mo-bot”/”Usain”/”The Lightning Bolt”/”Marathon Man starring Dustin Hoffman”

Pictured: Dustin Hoffman running in Marathon Man (1976).

23) Sing the “‘Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run” line from Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Born To Run’ over and over and over again

Photo: iStock (featuring Bruce Springsteen ‘Born To Run’ cover).

You May Also Like:

Running Into Trouble: 21 “F*ck Sake” Moments That All Runners And Joggers Will Relate To

‘Where’s My Challenge’ YouTube Channel Go Bare-Foot Running On A Load Of LEGO

Topics:

fitness and wellbeing laughter Listicle pride
Newsletter Terms & Conditions

Please enter your email so we can keep you updated with news, features and the latest offers. If you are not interested you can unsubscribe at any time. We will never sell your data and you'll only get messages from us and our partners whose products and services we think you'll enjoy.

Read our full Privacy Policy as well as Terms & Conditions.

production