11) The Poser
This one will surely enrage all the skaters out there. Why bother taking the time to learn how to ollie properly when there’s a quick and easy solution?
The Poser is a lanyard that, at one end, wraps around the trucks on your board, while you hold the other end in your hand. The idea is that it helps the rider ollie higher, and with much more ease than doing it properly.
What the designers have maybe failed to take into account is that learning to ollie is a kind of right of passage for all skaters. Getting that first proper air and landing it is one of the most beautiful feelings on the planet. The Poser takes that away from a skater.
Maybe more importantly, when you’re not popping fake ollies with it, you kind of look like you’ve got your board on a lead, as if you’re taking it out for a walk. We don’t know anybody who can style that out.
Despite sounding like the sister company of Skoda, we think the SKÄTÖ is an idea with potential.
Fundamentally, it’s just a leash that attaches to a bike saddle, allowing a skater to hold on to the other end and be pulled along. While that’s kind of cool in itself, the possibilities grow when you think about using a SKÄTÖ to get bigger air.
Much like how winches are often used in urban snowboarding when there’s no slope to throw a boarder at a spot, the SKÄTÖ could be used to get to spots, or hit lines that simply wouldn’t be accessible just on a skateboard.
Maybe this idea failed to get off the ground because the belt holding your jeans up would do pretty much the same job.
13) Rebel Skates
Rebel Skates was a hopeful project where somebody wanted to open a skate store and skatepark in their home town. Leaving the whole park Vs street thing aside, this seems a noble enough cause.
However, what set Rebel Skates apart from other skate parks was that it would going to be “centered [sic] around custom painted skateboards”. Now, if those boards were revolutionary designs, kinds never seen before that transcended the sport, then we could understand the appeal.
Alas, they weren’t. The example above is, well, terrible.
We’re all for people pushing skating, and making accessible to more people. However, we weren’t surprised to see it attracted just $20 of its $450,000 goal.
Yes, the BowBoard is yet another take on the skateboard design. We say skateboard, it looks more like a scooter to us. The idea is to push down on a bridged board that, in turn, propels you along.
As with many products that are a redesign on the traditional skateboard, it looks a bit shit. Ask yourself, would you happily ride along the street, bobbing up and down on one of these?
That said, hooning around on one will no doubt do your quads and glutes the world of good. You’ll be looking like celebrity arse-owner Nicki Minaj in no time.
15) Candy Grip
Although it sounds more like a pleasure giving tip from Cosmopolitan, Candy Grip is grip tape that changes colour. Initially, we thought this might be like those mood rings from a few years ago that claimed to change colour depending on how you were feeling, but no.
This is griprape with that colour changing pearlescent pigment in it. The sort that boy racers sometimes paint their cars with.
We think the best part of the video is when you first get to see the product. “It’s purple right now” explains the inventor “but as you go up to it, it turns green”. Impressive if only the board actually changed colours, as opposed to just appearing like regular, dark grey griptape.
The two colours available are described as Electric Raspberry and Strawberry Lightning, which are a bit too Ann Summers sounding for us.
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