There it is again, that bruise on the underside of your chin. Your doctor, of course, has told you to be more careful. ‘Stop watching new Candide Thovex videos’ she tells you. ‘Your jaw isn’t meant to hit the floor like that. It’s not healthy.’
You can’t help it though, can you? Just a taste won’t hurt, you tell yourself. And so, you take a chance. You buckle up and press play on the latest CT edit. Three minutes later, you’re once again digging out a pack of frozen peas from the freezer.
It’s getting silly now, isn’t it? Every superlative about the legendary skier from La Clusaz has already been written. Stuff like this madness below only serves to cement the man’s legacy within yet another layer of concrete. They’ll try and tell you Tom Brady is The GOAT but, as the Highlander taught us, there can be only one. Candide, mate. You dropped something. *Insert crown emoji*