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37 Reasons Why You Should Never Go Snowboarding

Anyone who claims they actually like snowboarding is lying...

1) If anyone tells you they’re looking forward to snowboarding this winter, don’t listen to them

Photo: iStock
Photo: iStock

2) It’s all an elaborate lie

Photo: Matt Georges
Photo: Matt Georges

3) There’s nothing fun about snowboarding

Snowboarder Rowan Biddiscombe backside rodeo
Photo: Tristan Kennedy

4) You have to go outside in the winter

Fabulous winter landscape in the mountains
Photo: iStock

5) When the weather is terrible

deck-chair-winter-sunbathing-snowboarding
Photo: iStock

6) And the skies are always depressingly dark

stale sandbech x games tignes 2013 mpora
Photo: Tristan Kennedy

7) It’s always freezing cold…

Snowboarding in a tank top spring snowboarding
Photo: Mammoth Mountain

8) …and there are no ways to warm up

snowboarding hot chocolate mpora
Photo: iStock

9) The resorts you do it in are always so ugly

Val d'Isère village at dusk
Photo: iStock

10) I mean honestly, who wants to wake up to views like this?

Verbier View Over the Mountains
Photo: Tristan Kennedy

11) After you’re done riding for the day there’s literally nothing to do…

beer drinking mountains
Photo: Instagram.com/gressonyfb

12) No fun activities

Snowmobiling in Powder snow
Photo: iStock

13) No parties to go to

Folie Douce apres ski party alps
Photo: La Folie Douce

14) No way to relax

hot tub in ski resort relaxing
Photo: iStock

15) And you need to relax, because let’s face it, snowboarding is stressful

mammoth_summer_snowboarding
Photo: Mammoth Mountain

16) The other people who do it are wankers

17) There’s no sense of camaraderie

Kevin Backstrom Tor Lundstrom BYND MDLS Bromance snowboarding
Photo: Screenshot BYND MDLS

18) And you never make new friends

pallas snowboards
Photo: Pallas Snowboards

19) In fact, it’s pretty much the least sociable sport in the world

Snowboarding with friends mpora
Photo: Screenshot / Isenseven

20) The gear you have to ride in looks rubbish

Anna Gasser Photo: Tom Copsey
Anna Gasser Photo: Tom Copsey

21) There’s no sense of style at all

snowboarding style
Photo: Matt Georges / Whitelines

22) Plus snowboarding’s always just so same-y

Angus Leith Snowboarder James Bryant
Angus Leith by Photo: James Bryant

23) There’s no variety when it comes to terrain

Instagram-Xavier-de-le-Rue-2-1
Photo: Instagram.com/xavierdelerue

24) You can’t do it without mountains for example.

Benny Urban Snowboarding
Benny Urban Photo: Tim Schiphorst / Red Bull

25) You never get to travel to go snowboarding

Petropavlovsk-airport-snowy-mountain
Photo: Alf Alderson

26) Or experience different cultures

Photo: iStock
Photo: iStock

27) Or meet different people

olympic podium japan
Russian-born Swiss snowboarder Iouri Podlatchikov with Japanese riders Ayumu Hirano and Taku Hiraoka Photo: WSJ

28) It’s so restrictive when it comes to how you can ride too

Art-of-Carving
Photo: Screenshot

29) There’s no chance to express yourself

nicolas-muller-gnu
Nico Muller Photo: Gnu Snowboards

30) Or inject your own sense of style

Eero Ettala Snowboarding
Eero Ettala Photo: Pasi Salminen / Red Bull

31) And there’s no variety when it comes to tricks

Billy Morgan Quad Cork Sequence
Billy Morgan lands the world’s first quadruple cork Photo: Red Bull

32) Nope, there’s no thrill to snowboarding really

Travis Rice, Baldface Lodge, Method, Snowboarding
Travis Rice Photo: Tim Zimmerman / Red Bull

33) No sense of danger

Travis Rice Snowboarder the Fourth Phase
Travis Rice Photo: Scott Serfas / Red Bull

34) Even watching snowboarding is boring

ArthurLongo-BEO-2015-©EdBlomfield-680
Arthur Longo Photo: Ed Blomfield

35) So if anyone tells you they can’t wait to go snowboarding this winter, call them out on it.

marcus kleveland powder japan markus fischer
Photo: Marjus Fischer / Red Bull

36) They’re lying. Snowboarding is rubbish. And they know it.

Travis Rice Snowboarding
Travis Rice Photo: Scott Serfas / Red Bull

37) I mean why would anyone enjoy this?

marcus kleveland powder
Marcus Kleveland Photo: Markus Fischer

You may also like:

23 Things Snowboarders Do That Ordinary People Won’t Understand

12 Reasons Why Snowboarding in North America is Better Than in Europe

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