20 Things Men With Beards Are Sick Of Hearing

'I didn't know you were ginger...'

1. “Can I stroke it?”

No you fucking can’t.

Photo: Whitelines


2. “How long did it take to grow that?”

Far longer than you’ll ever be able to grow yours, mate.

Photo: Rome SDS


3. “Errr… You’ve got some Pot Noodle/scrambled eggs/pasta sauce stuck in your beard”


Photo: Incredibeard


4. “Sir, do you mind stepping this way so we can frisk you?”

Not again…


5. “Sir, is this passport photo really you?”


Photo: Sam & Eric’s Global Trek


6. “I didn’t know you were ginger”

I’m not.

Photo: Reddit


7. “What happens when you go down on your girlfriend?”

Oh for fuck’s sake…


8. “Are you ever going to shave it off?”

Probably not. Dickhead.

Photo: Gert Goovaerts


9. “You’d look so much better clean shaven”

Cheers for that, Mum.

Photo: AP


10. “How long do you think it will take me to grow my beard that long?”

What am I, your personal Mystic Meg?

Photo: Todd Selby


11. “Does it freeze when it gets cold?”

Yes, yes it does.

Photo: Third Coast Surf Shop


12. “Did you forget to shave this morning?”

Oh, piss off.

Photo: Burton


13. “Do you want a straw with that pint?”

Do you want me to knock your teeth in?

Photo: Tumblr


14. “Did you sleep on your left side last night?”

Fuck. Off.

Photo: Jonathan Daniel Pryce


15. “Doesn’t it get itchy?”


Photo: Whitelines


16. “Do you secretly get envious of other men’s beards?”


Photo: Jimmy Niggles


17. “Did you grow it because you’re too lazy to shave?”

In a word: yes.

Photo: Whitelines


18. “You know, some people think men with beards are less trustworthy…”

Can you spot me a tenner? You’ll get it back by the end of the week.

Photo: Stock


19. “What job let’s you have a beard like that?”

The best job in the mother-fucking world!

Photo: Globe Tour


20. “Will it be cold when you shave it off?”

How about you tell me?

Photo: Red Bull

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