1. “Can I stroke it?”
No you fucking can’t.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Eric-Jacksom-e1378731164524-1.jpg)
2. “How long did it take to grow that?”
Far longer than you’ll ever be able to grow yours, mate.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/MP068471.jpg)
3. “Errr… You’ve got some Pot Noodle/scrambled eggs/pasta sauce stuck in your beard”
*sigh*
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/191643wh1xaatjpg.jpg)
4. “Sir, do you mind stepping this way so we can frisk you?”
Not again…
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/e5f4006afb1e0848695d7c8f02302eab.jpg)
5. “Sir, is this passport photo really you?”
Really?
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/beard-passport-photo-680x510.jpg)
6. “I didn’t know you were ginger”
I’m not.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/7kCbLiz.jpg)
7. “What happens when you go down on your girlfriend?”
Oh for fuck’s sake…
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/giphy-3.gif)
8. “Are you ever going to shave it off?”
Probably not. Dickhead.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/5973806793_45e9d4b4fb_z.jpg)
9. “You’d look so much better clean shaven”
Cheers for that, Mum.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/anton-grimus-ski-cross-680x521.jpg)
10. “How long do you think it will take me to grow my beard that long?”
What am I, your personal Mystic Meg?
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/3_4_09_George_Ksubi15803-1-680x453.jpg)
11. “Does it freeze when it gets cold?”
Yes, yes it does.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Brad-Tunis-21.jpg)
12. “Did you forget to shave this morning?”
Oh, piss off.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/dannydavisburtonsnowboardsapresmayshowroom8libtbbdawfl.jpg)
13. “Do you want a straw with that pint?”
Do you want me to knock your teeth in?
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/beard-pint-straw.jpg)
14. “Did you sleep on your left side last night?”
Fuck. Off.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/7be682ac296e6bd3950b635dbd6af7ed.jpg)
15. “Doesn’t it get itchy?”
ARGH!
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/eric-jackson-whitelines-interview-2012-26-1-680x1020.jpg)
16. “Do you secretly get envious of other men’s beards?”
Errr…..
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/6ce053a3bf9898471e480fa646bb6f14-680x907.jpg)
17. “Did you grow it because you’re too lazy to shave?”
In a word: yes.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Screen-Shot-2014-03-20-at-09.58.06-680x380.png)
18. “You know, some people think men with beards are less trustworthy…”
Can you spot me a tenner? You’ll get it back by the end of the week.
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/shutterstock_110708375-340x511.jpg)
19. “What job let’s you have a beard like that?”
The best job in the mother-fucking world!
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/2011-04-Globe-Tour-South-Africa-Chris-Haslam-9-680x452.jpg)
20. “Will it be cold when you shave it off?”
How about you tell me?
![](https://storage.googleapis.com/fm-coresites-assets/mpora_new/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/pat-moore-in-mr-680x454.jpg)
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