THE STAG DO GUYS

“Get your tits out for the lads!” you’ll hear these muscular, tattooed men shout as they rumble down the street. Bali is a cheap place to rack up a few hangovers, sunburn and a couple of drunken tattoos, especially if you are Australian. These lads won’t venture any further than Kuta, which is roughly a mile from the airport. They are the ones pillaging the ‘All You Can Eat’ buffets and sitting in bars overlooking the main strip, scoring women on their looks by holding up numbers written on paper napkins.

THE NEWBIE YOGA TEACHER

Her boyfriend dumped her, her cat died and Brexit happened, so in a haze of confusion, this woman booked herself onto a six-week intensive yoga teacher training course in Bali.

It doesn’t matter than she has never made it through a single yoga class without falling asleep, she is dead set on becoming a yoga instructor. After the training, she has lost a few pounds, become vegan and gained a few yoga tattoos before floating off into the world, never to practice another class of yoga again.

Although she will enjoy dropping phrases like “my chakras feel really unbalanced right now” into conversations now and again.

THE SURFER DAD

He wants to go on a surf trip but he also has to look after his five year-old daughter. What does he do? Bring the daughter with him.

You’ll spot him choosing a table at the restaurant which not only has a good view of the surf, but also has a good range of chocolate pancakes with ice cream and sprinkles and wifi so his daughter can watch Peppa Pig on the iPad.

Every woman within a 10 metre vicinity will be staring doe-eyed at this guy, because he is a) unbelievably good-looking and b) he doesn’t mind wiping up baby puke.

THE BUSINESSMAN

He’s spent the six years toiling away in a high-flying city office – and has now decided he needs a well-deserved two week holiday. Lucky for him, luxury comes cheap in Bali.

He’s the one wearing chinos and a pink shirt, sat on a fancy looking scooter, utterly bemused at the chaos that is Balinese traffic in front of him.

After a near miss with a taxi and a couple of scrapes through narrow alleyways later, he returns to his luxury villa and vows never to ride a scooter again.

The Businessman spends the rest of his trip chatting up glamorous women in the island’s fanciest cocktail bars and unsuccessfully learning to surf.

THE UNI GIRLS

They’ve got a whopping four months off uni, so they book a month-long trip to Bali. The Uni Girls come with the aim of getting super healthy, practicing yoga everyday and working on their hotdog legs.

Instead, they find themselves hungover, wearing the same sweaty beach dress everyday and running out of money because they spent it all on Nalu Bowls.

You can spot them posing for twenty minutes in front of a sunset – or holding a coconut in front of some street art – just to get the exact right Instagram shot.

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