Road cycling is a serious old sport. You can’t go in half-hearted, and you can’t expect to succeed if you don’t commit to the max.

The first step in doing that, obviously, is buying some lycra and downloading Strava. This way you won’t look like an outsider – although you may look like a bell-end – and you’ll be able to see how fast you can comparatively ride.

This means you’ll lose all sense of enjoyment in the sport and will be entirely consumed by your competitive nature, allowing you to fit in perfectly with the rest of your new friends.

Now that that’s out of the way, we’ve also included an equation allowing you to work out your all-important BMI, and a picture of some scarily muscular calves. No longer will you ever work on your biceps or six-pack again. It’s all about dem calves.