You’re riding along in the middle of the peloton at the GP de Fourmies in France. It’s a Sunday. You’re having a good day. Then bam, you see it; there’s a rogue bike sitting solo in the middle of the road ahead of you, and it’s about to cause you hell.
It’s been left there by the last group of riders to have a crash in that area, either because they were seriously injured, didn’t care that much about their bike, which seems unlikely, or simply wanted you to share in their misery of eating tarmac. After all, some people just want to see the world burn.
There’s no way you can avoid hitting it… not without slamming into the rest of the peleton, anyway
No matter what the case, you’re now hurtling towards the thing at ridiculous-miles-per-hour, and there’s no way to avoid hitting it – at least not without slamming into one of the 20-something competitors that are riding behind and alongside you.
Whatever happens next, it’s looking an awful lot like you’ll be at the bottom of a peloton pile up in 15 seconds – but wait, what’s this? A lightning-fast spectator has jumped on the road and yanked the bike away, just in the nick of time! What a good Samaritan! What a prince amongst men! What a top f**k*ng lad! You owe him a pint. Or 73.
— Leunis Jacques (@JacquesLeunis) September 6, 2015