Road Cycling

Ultimate Road Rage? | Road Cyclist Shoots Fireworks at Moped Drivers in Italy

...from an incredibly sketchy homemade device

The cyclist had a homemade device to shoot fireworks from his bike. Photo: Screenshot / YouTube

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done in a spontaneous fit of road rage?

Perhaps you’ve engaged in a full on argument with a driver at the traffic lights, and in the process held up a whole host of cars behind you? Perhaps you’ve slowly ridden in front of a car who tried to cut you off so they couldn’t get past? You rebellious two-wheeled warrior.

Well, whatever the answer is, we’re betting that you’ve never gone as far as Italian YouTube user “Dafne Fixed”. He recently dropped online some footage of him literally firing fireworks at a moped from a homemade rocket-launcher taped to the front of his bike.

At least they were nice and colourful. Photo: Screenshot / YouTube

The video shows a brief altercation between the cyclist and the moped, during which you will probably just be looking at the cyclist’s frame and wondering why it looks like it’s only been half unpackaged after being bought.

Next, you realise that it has indeed been properly unpacked long ago by the cyclist, and then refitted with an incredibly makeshift rocket launcher, which the cyclist then uses to throw fireworks at the moped-drivers.

At one point, one of the dudes from the moped even gets off and runs away, and the cyclist continues to shoot fireworks at him while manically laughing. As you do.

We don’t actually speak Italian, so we’re not sure exactly what Dafne is shouting at his adversaries here, but we do imagine the thought-process in his head going something along the lines of:

“‘Cause baby, you’re a firework / C’mon, show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go, “Aah, aah, aah” / As you shoot across the sky-y-y.”

Anyway, that’s quite enough Katy Perry for 2018. Here’s the footage:

Of course, the name Dafne Fixed will be more familiar to some of you than others. The guy is actually, the internet tells us, a Cinelli sponsored rider in Italy, which should give you a substantial clue to the big secret surrounding the video…

It’s fake! Well, in the modern sense of the word. It’s a set up at least. It’s not been CGI’d and if it is a stop-motion cartoon, it’s the most realistic one we’ve ever seen.

But it is indeed a set up. Dafne Fixed has brought us whole hosts of great videos before this one – from the superman fixie video to the, err, ‘panda and pink rabbit doing high speed rear wheel sides’ video.

Here’s that one, given that we imagine we’ve probably peaked your curiosity with that title:

So, while this ‘angry cyclist’ video has of course gone viral, and the Daily Mail got all angry about it, it’s really quite a nice video. Or maybe ‘slightly more acceptable’ would be the right way to phrase it.

It’s less ‘angry cyclist fires fireworks at dickhead moped’ and more ‘hysterical cyclist fires fireworks at mates on moped’.

To be honest, we’re not sure which one of them is better. Either way… it’s a good watch, but don’t try it at home!

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