40 Reasons Why You Should Never Go Running - Mpora

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40 Reasons Why You Should Never Go Running

If you tell people you like running, you're lying...and lying is wrong.

1) If anyone tells you that they like running

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2) Don’t listen to them

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3) Don’t listen to their lies

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4) Running is rubbish

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5) Seriously, it’s the absolute worst

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6) Nobody likes running

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7) Don’t pretend you like it

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8) You’re not fooling anyone

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9) Heck, it’s not like running increases your life expectancy…

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10) …or improves mental wellbeing…

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11) …or, just, you know. Look. Running sucks, OK? It just sucks

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12) Sit on your local park bench instead

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13) Your local park bench is nice

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14) Your local park bench doesn’t expect anything of you

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15) Wait. Where did you go?

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16) Oh, heck. You’re running again

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17) Stop it

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18) Stop Running

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19) You hate running

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20) You hate the freedom…

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21) …and the views…

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22) …and those uphill steps that make you feel like Rocky Balboa

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23) Endorphins?

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24) Why bring dolphins into this?

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25) We’re talking about running

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26) R-U-N-N-I-N-G

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27) Running

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28) Running is a lonely pursuit

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29) You won’t make any friends through running…

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30) …or accomplish things you never thought you could…

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31) …or like, raise money for good causes and make a positive impact on the world

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32) Runners are soooooo boring

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33) They take themselves way too seriously

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34) And besides, you’ve seen one trail…

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35) …you’ve seen them all

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36) Am I right?!

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37) Oh…just…shut up. Running sucks OK?

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38) You’re still running, aren’t you?

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39) Well, Yeah, Enjoy Your Greater Levels Of Fitness, Your Higher Life Expectancy, Your Lower Stress Levels And Improved Mental Wellbeing

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40) You Bloody Great Big Bunch Of…Losers

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