Wanderlust Fails: 23 Ways To Make Travelling The World Really Really Awkward

Pack your bags, hop on a plane, and prepare to cringe.

Travelling the world can be amazing. It can open up your mind to whole new possibilities, and make you see the planet we call home in a completely different light. For expanding the mind and developing a greater understanding of foreign cultures, there really is nothing quite like packing up a bag and heading off on the adventure of a lifetime.

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But, wait, wait one second. Travelling isn’t always a walk in the park. Yes, you’ll make a whole heap of new memories but unless you’re very fortunate indeed not all of these memories that you make will be ones you look back on fondly. What are we chatting about? We’re chatting about awkwardness.

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If you’re thinking about globe-trotting, you should definitely be aware of all the potentially awkward situations that can occur while travelling. Because whether you’re the person that’s feeling awkward, because of something that’s happened to you, or it’s somebody else feeling awkward, because of something you’ve put them through, you should always be looking to minimise awkwardness while travelling.

If you do this, if you make the effort to avoid awkward situations like the ones listed below, we guarantee that everyone will have a much better time. Or, alternatively, you could do all of these things and make your trip a cringe-fest to remember.

1) Bring way too much luggage with you

2) Buy a massive hat and walk around like this…

3) Get matching t-shirts for you and your squad

4) Break your leg on the first day/night of travelling

5) Buy drugs from a local man and wake up three days later with no recollection of what happened

6) Try to communicate with locals by speaking LOUDLY…AND…SLOWLY…IN…ENGLISH

7) Get a shit tattoo

8) Blow your entire travel budget in the first two days and spend the rest of your trip eating dust

9) Get so ill that you feel like you’re shitting out all of your internal organs whenever you go to the toilet

10) Let your friends graffiti all over your passport

11) Walk through passport control with a doodled dick on your forehead (permanent marker)

12) Tell everyone you meet that you’re on a “voyage of discovery” and/or really trying to “find” yourself

13) Show everyone you love animals by stroking a lion and getting your whole arm bitten off

14) Have ridiculously loud sex in a shared dormitory

15) Wear the same football shirt for six months

16) Turn everything into a “spiritual” moment

17) Get caught up in a love triangle with a bored local housewife and her angry fisherman husband

18) Start some beef with a notorious local gang

19) Disrespect religious temples/churches by acting like a culturally insensitive bell-end

20) Contract a genital-melting STI

21) Get your foot stuck in a strange toilet

22) Tell everyone you’re going to sort out the accommodation…and then totally drop the ball

23) Get home and bore everyone by starting all your stories with “When I was travelling…”

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