26 Running Puns That Will Have You In Stitches

You can run, but you can't hide, from these running puns

Running Puns That Will Make You Calf Out Loud

Here at Mpora, we welcome you with open arms to our plethora of puns. This is the place where you can indulge in those satisfying funnies, or should we say those satisfying punnies (laughs in a maniacal tone).

In the past, we’ve done ski and snowboard puns, travel puns, climbing puns, mountain biking puns, and a number of other pun-based articles. Making puns happen is kind of a running joke at Mpora HQ. The fact we are yet to ever cover running puns is no laughing matter though, and we will be having stern words with ourselves later for leaving it this long.

Today, we present to you 26 running puns that will keep you on the right track for punning greatness.

1) Did you hear about the running gardener who lost his race? Yeah, apparently, he took the wrong root

2) Anyone else here starting to get excited about catching Noel Edmonds’ new show, “Heel or No Heel”

3) Norman Bates has a favourite running route. It’s called ‘The Psycho Path’

4) Goddammit, I forgot the next pun. Do you have anything to jog my memory?

5) What’s your best chip time? With or without salt & vinegar?

6) Did you see the fish that completed the London Marathon? He was doing it for the halibut, so it’s no wonder he came in last plaice because his heart and sole just wasn’t in it

7) The world’s fastest man was standing in line at the Post Office when a long handled tool jumped in front of him. Boltcutter

8) A hungry Eminem went for a run. He eight the miles up

9) The snowman had to give up running because he just couldn’t warm-up

10) You heard about the world’s most dangerous ultra marathon? Marathon des Sables tooth tigers

11) Where did the Finland marathon end? At the Finnish line

12) The DJ got disqualified from the 400m sprint because he kept changing tracks.


13) The Communist marathon will begin now.

       on your Marx….

14) I gait a feeling this isn’t going to be such a good run

15) Did you hear about the comedian runner who’s into BDSM? He loves telling running jokes at his shows – it’s one of his running gags

16) “Wood dew Strava?” I asked the wet bit of pine on its morning run. “Would I rather what?” it replied

17) Alas, I couldn’t bring peace to the middle east so…Iran away instead


18) I did the ultimate ultra marathon the other day. Managed to watch all the Star Wars movies back to back

19) I love doing LSD on my runs… “Long, Slow, Distance”

20) I hit The Wall so hard I had to be escorted off the BBC premises by Danny Dyer

21) I lost my 5K yesterday…I’ll never go to the casino again

22) Britain’s greatest ever long distance runner got into a debt dispute with the Notorious B.I.G… Mo Money, Mo Problems

23) My dentist is such a good runner because he sticks to his drills

24) Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon? Because he had the power of a torn knee

25) Papers and pens are never likely to run and win races because they are, in fact, stationery

26) When is the best time to run a marathon? During Lent. That’s when you fast.

You May Also Like

20 Camping Puns That Are Really In-Tents

19 Beach Puns That Deserve A Sanding Ovation

Newsletter Terms & Conditions

Please enter your email so we can keep you updated with news, features and the latest offers. If you are not interested you can unsubscribe at any time. We will never sell your data and you'll only get messages from us and our partners whose products and services we think you'll enjoy.

Read our full Privacy Policy as well as Terms & Conditions.